God, it’s nine already. Where did the day go? It just high-tailed it outta here, hot on the heels of all the many other days of my life. They speed off into the past like hot-rods in a drag lane, black smoke pouring from their exhaust pipes. Burning up those minutes and hours. Minutos. Horas. Tiempo. Tempus fugit.
And now, another day is brewing up for me tomorrow. I hope it lasts a little longer than the others. Las otras dias.
Maybe I will win a prize tomorrow. Best in the Bunch. The Hostess with the Mostest. Mr. Abs of Steel. Winner of the Humpty Dance contest. Worst Crybaby.
Or perhaps I will hear that my controversial white paper, “Creme filling or dream filling” has been accepted for the upcoming Snack Society conference.
Perhaps I will finally remove that dirty, peeling Gore 2000 sticker from my car’s bumper. Or cancel my subscription to “O” magazine. There are so many possibilities.
You’re probably asking why I am wearing a dickie. Well, have you seen the news? The world has changed forever, man, and I am wearing this dickie to reflect the NEW ERA. A dickie, some chiclets, a hard-on and a bag of biscuits: these are the essential tools we need to forge a new millennium.