I have tried everything: a Sitz bath, a poultice, round the clock enemas, leeches, aromatherapy. All for naught, I am afraid. I am still plump full of mucous and hacking like some tubercular geezer. I fell asleep on the couch last night with some bad TV movie on and my brain is now full of melodrama and implausible plot lines. My apartment is full of remedies–Kleenex, NyQuil, Robitussin, ibuprofen, lozenges, Vapo-Rub. I dose myself with something or other every hour or so, mixing medications willy-nilly, hoping to find some magic combination that will lift this oppressive illness from me.

No luck yet. O, and the day is so beautiful. I feel like a vampire, banished from the bright sun.