I just remembered that I need to call my mother.

A few nights ago, I dreamed I was a computer science geek. I was on a date, which wasn’t going very well, so I excused myself, saying I needed to go to the bathroom, but instead, I turned on my laptop and, ahem, hacked into her vagina. I did this–and I remember this exact phrase from the dream–to “get a look at her code.” Not sure what found. I guess it was similar to peering into her diary, somehow. The entire dream, I admit, is loaded psychologically, but personally I think I am just spending too much time around my tech toys. You be the judge.

Whatever the interpretation, it has nothing to do–nothing–with my mother. Who I am going to call right now.