Those damn Chinese put pee-pee in my Coke again.

E. and I have been offered free tickets to see “Mamma Mia,” the award-winning new musical based on the music of playwrights and disco stars ABBA. I am intrigued, though at little disappointed that is isn’t “On Ice.” That would ratchet up the entertainment value a few notches. What’ll be next? “(Do the Funky Chicken) While Waiting for Godot,” an exciting new stage show based on Beckett’s play and featuring the music of Leo Sayer.

Instead, we will skip the show and most likely go duckpin bowling. Roll the little balls toward the tiny pins. Listen to Led Zeppelin and Van Halen on the jukebox. Put in an order for curly fries. Try in vain to beat the record of Buddy Creamer, local duckpin bowling champ.

I’m so smart! I just figured out how to take out the pee-pee part!